“Good day Captain, I am delighted to meet you at last,” he simpered wi’out standing up.“No thee bloody ent,” I said, “Thee jus wants me brass,” I answered him, “I’m from bloody Yorksire and I speaks me bloody mind,” I explained to the ignorant Lancashire twat.“Er, yes, the brass,” he said awkwardly.“Ton and a half of it,” I said, “Dubloons, pieces of eight, that sort of brass.”“We thought you meant Brass,” his assistant chipped in. She was like a short haired gorilla in a black dress with a gob like a bulldog chewing a wasp.“Brass, Money,” I said, “Bloody simple enough even for you bloody ignorant Lanky buggers ent it?”“Brass is an alloy of Copper and Tin,” she ventured.“Clever bitch eh, need to be with a gob like yours,” I advised, "Ent going to get far wi your bloody looks and that's a bloody fact..“How much were you asking?” the slimy one asked.I told him, showed him chit for it.“Yes we will pay the asking price,” the slimy bastard said rooking me, “The cheque please Miss. What he thought of the muffled moans emanating from our kitchen he didn`t say.Over the years we have tried chastity, though she couldn’t get one of the patent chastity devices to fit my huge Hampton, then there was cuckolding. Pat and Mary both got me to dress them both a sexily as I could then went off to get laid expecting me to be really turned on at their return effectively my two wives playing the field.I sat on the edge of the bed worried and exited alternately eagerly expecting the girl`s home, I had the odd noggin to calm my raging nerves by 0200hrs I was getting really worried, so I had a drop more. I strongly suspect that was a mistake as when I came too at 4 the next afternoon both girls where in bed having had a tiring night servicing half the camp, then spending an hour trying to wake me!Not the idea really as I now had a hangover, a leaky wife asleep in a wet bed and as it happens a friend of hers who was now scratching away at her pubes having contracted crabs! It.
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